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**Lambda** · 05-09-2008, 10:29 PM

If you watched Mock the Week last Thursday then you would have heard the news that Switzerland, has built; what scientists are calling a 'super collider', while the rest of us 'apparently' mere mortals call it A BLACK HOLE MACHINE.
Yes that's right, tiny little neutral "oh don't hurt me" Switzerland has built a machine that could (and scientists warn this) SWALLOW THE EARTH, this apparently lack of grey matter, where it matters, namely up here (taps head) is going to take place next Wednesday, right slap bang on the day of the Top 10 Brit Babes results, so you may find out you may not. fingers crossed
Oh yes little fact about this is. If it all goes horribly wrong it will create a black hole with a gravitational pull so strong that NOT EVEN LIGHT CAN ESCAPE IT and will consume the universe in round about 15 minutes.
so once again thanks Switzerland.

**Jack** · 06-09-2008, 01:24 PM

Good post Lambda. I've been watching this one too. If you are really worried you can join the FBBF time travel club. Our next meeting will be outside the Albert Hall last Tuesday.

Isme · 06-09-2008, 03:57 PM

Or, if you were worried you could see what actual scientists are saying about it. Less exciting that the "we iz all doom-d" lot, but reassuring.

**Jack** · 06-09-2008, 04:11 PM

I can't back this statement up but I have read somewhere years ago that there isn't a date in history when someone hasn't prophesied that the world is going to end. Wink

Still it's a very interesting and tongue in cheek post ( possibly ?) Lambda and maybe the last laugh will be on us anyway.

p.s. the bit about the black hole devouring the universe in 15 minutes can't be right. There are millions of black holes in the universe at the moment. Probably meant the Earth ?

p.p.s I also remember vaguely a Swiss referee being detrimental to the chances of the England football team winning a match once. Bloody Swiss. If it wasn't for their cuckoo clocks what are they good for ?

**Lambda** · 06-09-2008, 06:52 PM

its also illegal for any form of motorsport to take place there so im against them already.
i think it was our galaxy that takes 15 mins, we wont no about it if it happens it would be that quick.

Isme · 07-09-2008, 11:01 AM

Destroying the galaxy in 15 minutes might seem more sensible than destroying the universe in 15 minutes, but the people behind that claim are still suffering from tin foil hat hair.

07-09-2008, 12:03 PM

Didn't the Mayan calender predict the end of the world in 2012?

Anywho, I seriously don't know what the hell the Swiss are playing at! I'm on holiday next week and I don't want to spend all that time dead!

cobia · 09-09-2008, 11:31 PM

(06-09-2008 06:52 PM)Lambda Wrote: its also illegal for any form of motorsport to take place there so im against them already.
i think it was our galaxy that takes 15 mins, we wont no about it if it happens it would be that quick.

There is already a huge black hole at the centre of our galaxy and every other galaxy that's been studied and they have probably been there since the galaxies were first formed billions of years ago. When I last looked we were all still here and so is the milky way.
By the way, it's not the Swiss that are conducting the expirement but an international team of scientists.

Isme · 10-09-2008, 01:08 AM

Oh noes! They started it up early, and the universe has been destroyed already. Quick, tell everyone, or they wont know that they are dead yet.

**Jack** · 10-09-2008, 07:25 AM

5 minutes to go before they fire up the "doomsday device" Will this be the last post ?

**Lambda** · 10-09-2008, 07:30 AM

nope i have stolen your thunder

**Jack** · 10-09-2008, 07:44 AM

Hee-hee. Another good thread Lambda.

**Lambda** · 10-09-2008, 07:52 AM

yep was worth waiting for, thoe i have been reading about this.
apprently if it works the way they think it will (big IF) then apprently there will be 1000 terabytes of data to go throught, to find out what happened.thats gonna take a loooonnnnnggggg time.

10-09-2008, 08:17 AM

Well, I've just done what I wanted for my apocalypse. Watching my Father Ted boxset, sincerlly glad I'm alive guys! I'll dust off that GA story now!

dazers · 10-09-2008, 11:08 AM

They Said they will be using the machine for years to come
it said on the radio they had teathing problems when starting it
so wat if it goes wrong in a couple of years time

10-09-2008, 11:09 AM

I seriously think that the UN should intervene. Like dazers said, what if it goes wrong in a few years time?

dazers · 10-09-2008, 11:20 AM

It Could Happen at any time day or night.
I recon that it is a good idea to do it 1 or 2 times but then no more
or they could give us a warning when they are using
maybe once a year.

10-09-2008, 11:22 AM

Agreed, I realise that there's no gain with out actually trying to do stuff but this is dangerous stuff. Surely, now they've done a test now, they can at least run simulations to see how Black Holes work?

dazers · 10-09-2008, 11:31 AM

Yes Very True it is dangerous stuff and i agree they should run simulations from now on.
but the scientist said its 1 in a billianth chance it will create a black hole.
but i recon 1 more time and thats it.

10-09-2008, 11:34 AM

Can anybody else say 'Panic Control'? It's got to be more than that, I reckon they should just leave it to oneside for the good of the world.